T h e E u r o v i s i o n a r y

Moldova started us off with a very lacklustre performance and a new backing track for her dramatic song.  Sadly I don't think the new version is as strong as the last one, and I fear this will be lost in the melee.  She has a few boy dancers though... Poor San Marino!  Despite a perfectly competent performance this just comes across as dull.  There is no stage show this time, just Vale and big clam-like erection behind her.  She doesn't even move - just stands there and sways a bit while the backlighting shines through her white dress showing her chunky legs! Portugal has also revamped their backing track and it's got a few hand-claps in there at strategic places.  Suzy was a bit out of tune (again) and at her press conference sounded like Kenny Everett's Cupid Stunt, "...so, like, yeah, that's what my song is all about...but listen to me, Michael, I'm telling you the plot!" [crosses legs wildly in the air] - Airhead! The Netherlands' ...

Not camp at all!...  This is us all in the Press Centre after a few drinks...

If you have a spare 17 hours then check out this three part video review of yesterday's rehearsals feauring Ewan and myself chatting with our genial host Garrett...

Armenia looked and sounded great.  Aram all alone on the big stage just worked and the set was nothing short of stunning... Latvia was fun - lead singer Joran ran out to a satellite stage during the song, which looked a bit daft.  Came over well though. Estonia looked and sounded strong, and she does really do the lead vocal whilst doing all that dancing. Sanna - OMG!!!  STUNNING!  OK, so I'm biased, but for me this was by far the performance of the day!  Similar the the MF staging, with everything just oomphed up!  ...and then this happened! The Icelandic boys were also fantastic.  The song came alive on that stage and I really think they will qualify... Oh yes, and men with beards... (yum). Albania - nah Russia - now, you see, I missed this one due to my appointment with Goddess Sanna - but I'm told it involved a see-saw and the fabulous Portuguese Rui Andrade as a backing singer! The Azeri rehearsal was very good.  She see...

Greetings from the first morning in the press centre.  As you can see I'm already hard at work (and wearing Sanna, natch!) Mr Armenia is singing away in the background, but they haven't linked the feed in here yet, so I've no idea how it looks or sounds... But never mind all that, I know you want to hear all about our lovely adventures coming out here the the B&W Hall yesterday...  After a bus journey, a seven mile walk and a water taxi ride across the Kattegat, oh and then a three mile hike across some industrial wasteland (carefully negotiating the barbed wire fences), we managed to find the accreditation tent.  Picking up our accreditation was very straightforward and well organised...  They're rather pretty this year... Then we came in and had a look around the city of tents outside the main halls which make up the press centre.  THEY HAVE SWINGS!!!  What with the fact that there are complimentary condoms on the counter and slings, so...

Well, after something like 50 long weeks, here we are... back in the the bubble that is Eurovision Week (except for the past 10 years it has been more like two weeks - and for the past 2 years I've extended it further to 16 days!). I arrived around 6pm last night and after checking into the hotel I'm in until Sunday, when Uncle Robin arrives and we move in to our fab two bedroomed apartment for the duration, I wandered into town for some food and to catch up with some Eurovision chums for pre-pre-pre drinkies! There's not too much of a buzz about the city yet, although they seem to have inherited Malmö's countdown clock and given it a fresh lick of paint. Having been up very early and done half a day in the office before I even set off yesterday, I didn't make it a late night and opted to head back to the hotel at a reasonable hour. I was struck by how very friendly people were as I walked down the street to my hotel... two lovely young ladies asked if...

Well, after a very nail-biting voting sequence we went into the 28th and final jury with Spain and Sweden tied on 150 points apiece.  Elaine had the casting vote - and as her votes had already been locked into the electronic scoreboard she was unable to then change them.  Here's how the Top 20 finished... So, the lovely Sanna just edged Ruth out of the victory.  If the same thing happens in three weeks I shall be a very happy chappie indeed!  Bookies' favourite Armenia finished in a miserable 26th place with only 21 points. Other bizarre facts from Saturday's voting: Hungary had been leading after the first seven sets of votes had been cast (from those who were unable to be there in person).  Of the 21 following sets of votes, only 1 person gave Hungary anything (and that was me!).  Meaning that the assembled voters in Gracieland were either put off by the graphic video, or did not want to be seen voting for a song with child abuse as a subject mat...

Goodness! What a busy two weeks I've just had... The first weekend in April I was off to Amsterdam Amsterdam (die stadt waar alles kaan) for Eurovision In Concert. Basically that was an opportunity for around 2,000 screaming fannies to see 25 of this year's acts perform their songs live in a hot and sweaty hall with little in the way of air-conditioning. Before the concert started we spent the afternoon meeting and chatting with the stars. Of course, the paparazzi were all clamouring for the divine Ms Conchita Wurst for quotes and snaps. I got in there first!!! Conchy told me all about the motif of tolerance and acceptance that her song was all about.  She was very touchy-feely and said at one point, "oh you know what it's like for us gays..."  How very presumptuous of her!!!  LOL. I had a chat with cuddly wee Axel from Belgium.  He was standing in a quiet corner all on his own, so I thought I should say Hi.  What a Sweetie he was....